I recently stayed away twice in the last month. it was the first time in over a year and a half that I had been away from my child overnight. On reflection, there were a couple things that I can do to make the experience easier on my partner - and therefore easier for me to come back to. Here are 6 lessons I learnt from staying overnight without my child. The full blog post is now live on my website:
Make sure the trip is worth leaving your family for This is something that I struggle with - I don't want to let anyone down so often I say yes to things that I don't always want to do. I believe there is no point leaving your family overnight and putting all that strain on your partner unless you truly want to go (or have to, if its a work thing). I am getting much more comfortable with saying no, and being really selective.
Prepare as much as you can before you go: meal prep & stock up on snacks Before you go, spend some time walking through the weekend and make sure the house is full of milk, food for your partner and food for your baby. Enough nappies, washing done, and house in order to make it easy for your partner to focus on your baby and not worry about anything else!
Rally the troops - get support to help out if they can Tell everyone you're going! Well not everyone, but anyone who can help, let them know. It means they can offer to help, pop to the shop if you need anything or need a break.
Make sure you have the full blessing from your partner Your partner has to be happy that you are going. Otherwise they can make your trip miserable if they are annoyed that your going by not replying, being a bit tetchy over text or not giving you the full story. Get the blessing from your partner and remind them that it will be their turn to go away soon!
Agree on levels of contact, and a good time of day to video call home. I recently was away for 2 nights and took the train, so we agreed while I was on the train was a good time to catch up. As when I was seeing family and friends, I would hardly look at my phone. For the age that Jacob is, a video call would upset him so we decided against that!
Enjoy it - there’s no point in going otherwise! I always miss home when I'm away. When I see photos of Jacob being sent through I always get a little pang in my stomach that I wish I was home. But you've got to make the most of your trip while your away, enjoy not being on a baby centric routine and have a lie in!
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